It's a new year, and a new you -- and man, we really hope that the new you likes goofs about wieners, because we have them in spades. We've also got a little bit of warm encouragement to help you complete your resolutions, couched comfortably within even more genital humor.

Suggested talking points: Twenty-Dozen, Hairstyle Secrets, Taco Coordinator, Hipster Walrus, Along Came Polly Museum, Dickbats, Bathroom Brother, Feety Pajamas, Loveboss